Over the last few days I've been feeling quite depressed. Let me tell you a little story. My mom took me out to get some stuff. On the drive back home we started talking. She asked me what I wanted to do for a job and I told her I really hadn't thought about it-I was lying, because I wasn't about to tell her that I wanted to be a graphic maker/website designer and actually make money doing that-not just the free cutesy warriors stuff I do now. Anyways...back to the story.
My mom then started talking about a very sensitive subject with me. My writing. I love, love, love to write but I never show my really good writing to my parents. It's kind of private and it's fragile. My mom said something like this to me-"Herb, you can't write for a living. It can only be a side project, no matter how good a writer you may be it may not work out." I was literally crying in the car. Tears trickling down my face once she said that. And she didn't even know. I had to hide my tears. How self-fish. She smashed my dream. I have barely wrote a page since then. Everything feels hollow.
Then, during the same car ride she starts talking about the SAT's. By now I'm thinking, "Are you even my mother? You smash my writing and now move on to state testing for high school and talking about careers." I pretty much just nodded and tried to dry my tears through the rest of the ride. I didn't want to talk to her. At all.
Then later on (today-a few days later) she asks me to run outside and do something. But right as I'm about to go outside and do it she starts talking to me, "You know Herb you should really get your face cleared up. Back when I was a kid there weren't any products to clear up your face like there are now."
HOLD IT.
I'm not going to admit I have the most lovely face in the world. I'm not Miley Cyrus, Demi or whatever their names are. I'm not some preppy princess that's gonna have a totally clear face. But you wanna know what I am?
I'm me. And if my mom can't handle it she needs to shut up. I'm not perfect but she doesn't need to smash my writing dream or criticize how I look. I.am.me. Deal with it.
-Herb
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OMG! I'm thinking about my life the EXACT same way - I want to be a graphic designer / writer, too! Luckily, my Dad supports the computer design, so that's no big. I love writing also, and I'm really hesitant about showing my stories to anyone but my close friends. That REALLY ticks my Mom off, lol.
ReplyDeleteUgghh, I hate it when Moms act like that: getting all nag-ish and hope-crushing. Everyone thinks my Mom is hilarious, and sometimes, it seems like I'm the only one who notices that she's not always very funny. Blehh. You know what they say - can't choose your family (though I occasionally wish I could!) XD
I didn't know anyone had commented =O Or I would have replied. Hai Shade. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of over the whole thing with my mom but were kind of opposites. =O